What Worked and Didn't in 2024

Am I too late to reflect on 2024? I say no.

Jan 28, 2025

I’ve been pondering this piece for weeks and am filing it under “I still need to write this to process.” I can’t tell you how many of my scribbled notebook pages and dozens of half-baked essay ideas don’t see the light, but this reflection feels poignant coming into a new year.

This new year I have a different energy than I’ve had in the past. For example, we were moving for a military assignment over Christmas in three different years. Heading into the New Year, I was dilapidated, depressed, and in no mood to project any other vibes other than “survival.” Those years taught me much about patience, staying on my page, and shutting down from the internet to live my present story and not compare it with others. I say this because if you’re entering this year more in “shut down” mode than “show up,” it’s okay. May you find your way back to energy when you’re able.

However, in 2025, I find myself smiling big and riding the wave of wanting to make lists, thinking about goals and whether I go for them or they end up drifting away as the year goes on— I started the year dreaming big— and it feels good to be back here in a hopeful stance.

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

Smack in the Middle (kinda worked, kinda didn’t): The TRAVEL:

We had many incredible experiences last year. I counted them all recently, from Hawaii to Disney World, Ohio and Kentucky, Arkansas, and camping trips across Texas. And we took 20 trips last year! I can’t tell you why it happened. I think it was a combination of Ryan and I looking around our house in August of 2023 and saying, “Well, that’s good enough for now,” and focusing on adventures mixed with frantic energy on my behalf from NOT getting ready for a move.

It’s like I have grown so accustomed to change I re-created it with packed suitcases instead of boxes. I know. I’m a special kind of wild over here. It worked to see and experience and keep doing laundry, homeschooling, and packing. It also didn’t work this fall when I was on the brink of burnout, and we spent most of December SICK. I can’t say I won’t push it again because I most likely will. But I look forward to this season, where we stay put for a few months.

What Worked:

changing up our homeschool routine and curriculum

I can safely say we are leaning more toward “Charlotte Mason eclectic,” and I trust the process. We swapped out our math curriculum and our language arts. I ditched the idea that we could do “morning time” together in this season of life. I have an Evelyn (9) who sleeps in and a Hunter (4) who is up with the birds. I now work with H first and E second, and “together time” happens during lunch. I don’t know why I fought it so long. It’s easy to get swept up in shoulds and what other lives look like. I’m working to look at ours through a generous lens and be kinder to all in the process.

asking for help and being specific about it

Ryan (my hubs) has always been helpful in the house. But he’s also had long swaths of time on the road for military work, and so I have fielded the brunt of our domestic responsibilities. After so many years of leading out on this, I stopped asking or incorporating him, and it began to brew some deep resentment. This year, we worked together to name the issues we saw and how to resolve them as a team. It’s not perfect, but I’m no longer stuffing it down or glaring at him as he rests on the couch while I’m still washing dishes (IYKYK).

swapping work periods with Ryan

We traded off on who got “deep work” weekends every few months. Ryan is completing his bachelor's degree utilizing active-duty tuition assistance, and I am trying to step into the role of author as my book comes into launch mode. Neither of us could go for our big dreams without the other.

sourdough + freezer meals

With all our travel and commitments this past year, I wanted to learn how to keep feeding us the best I could, with minimally processed foods and a lean budget. I also had a lot of gut issues in 2023 that I wanted to see if I could fight with food and fitness. My Wild + Free Mama group cheered me on as I tried out sourdough, and it was such an enjoyable experience and confidence boost I thought, “What else can I learn?” I took a free class from The Family Freezer and love how her raw-to-crock pot recipes turn out. I finally have our meal rotations down and am no longer scrambling but liking my time in the kitchen.

resetting as many times as necessary

More hard conversations with Ryan. More listening.

More staying up late for my BIG kid to give her time and hear her heart.

More research on natural treatments and preventative health care, so I can move from manic to an attempt at being informed.

More writing our own story and embracing what that looks like after military retirement.

More forgiveness.

More starting to understand when I’m getting over-stimulated

More embracing the creative I am who enjoys working alongside homeschool.

joining Substack

…and starting to put social media in it’s place. I loved the creative motherhood group I am in, Exhale Creativity. We had a talk on “Is my phone toxic, a tool, or a toy?” and want to continue running things through this lens. While this year is one where I’m trying to be more visible as a writer, that doesn’t mean my brain needs to be mush, or my body needs to be crouched over a screen to do it. I’m truly trying to strike a balance between showing up and also setting boundaries. I don’t have it mastered. But gosh, I’m trying to do better.

What Didn’t Work:

physical health routine

I couldn’t seem to muster a workout routine that worked for me. It was like I couldn’t hold steady. I felt up, down, and all over the place with it. I would gain strength and confidence to stop doing anything then completely. I have to admit that I haven’t found working out as enjoyable as I used to when I was younger. It often feels like one more thing: I’m trying to scratch off my to-do list. I hope to change that in 2025 because I understand the benefits of moving and strengthening my body. I just need to find a way to dedicate myself to it again.

picking up my phone first thing in the morning

So my win is that I bought an alarm clock last year and moved my phone out of the bedroom. I have busted the habit of looking at my phone before bed! Hooray! It gets plugged in around 8 or 9 p.m., and since it’s far across the house from me, I don’t return to it. But picking it up in the morning (and throughout the day) is still a habit. I feel pulled to that darn device like I’m the servant and it’s my master. I do a great job with tech for our kids but for me? I’m still floating in dangerous waves of zero boundaries.

simple hopes I wanted to do but didn’t:

These are little hopes I wanted to try, like writing letters (to friends and family), get our kids to the pool more, help Ev start piano lessons, take creative classes in the Exhale library, more walks around the neighborhood, and regular tea times and family game night. More often than I’d like to admit, I was seeking corners of quiet for myself when the “work” of the day was done. Some of these might be worth revisiting in the new year.

hair, makeup, and clothing…am I on the way to the midlife crisis?

I feel pretty “blah” about my hair, skincare, and clothing. I’m using what I have. I stopped dying my hair 9 years ago, and this is the first time I’ve wanted a bit of sparkle put back in. Highlights seem like a cost we maybe can’t swing, but maybe? The same goes for the makeup. I don’t need to do much, but I feel like I don’t have good tools or choices when I want to do something.

This is so arbitrary I hardly feel like typing it (judging me as I do), but it does make me feel…well…older and kind of like I’m out of touch with any of that world. Most of my clothes are thrifted, and I don’t mind that, but I have many good choices that make me happy, but the fit doesn’t feel good (see: no physical health routine). Anyway. Growing up is hard, whether at the adolescent end of the process or in the headed toward 40 pool.

watching triggering/sad storylines

I tried some popular shows last year, and I couldn’t get into it if the storyline went too violent, wayward, stressful, or overtly sexual. I’m not on a righteous platform over here, promise. I used to binge-watch GOT, for goodness' sake. However, I am learning certain kinds of shows that make me anxious, and I typically watch them before bed; this material makes it harder for me to sleep. I’ve gone back to some oldies that feel more comforting: Gilmore Girls, Schitt’s Creek, Friends. I’m embracing it. If I’m going to spend time watching anything, it should at least fill the cup right now and not drain me.

getting down on myself (repeat, repeat)

I’ve had intense waves of imposter syndrome this year. I’m fighting hard against the current, but there have been some dark moments when I wonder if pouring my time and energy into writing, book promotion, etc., is just plain silly/crazy/a waste of time.

Many creatives have to battle these feelings (putting ourselves out there is hard), but as we make our way in 2025, I have been reaching for tools to boost myself up instead of tearing myself down. I accept that this is part of my journey, and I’m working to envision what it will be like on the other side of this valley.

What more can I offer if I learn kindness and softness with myself regarding launching projects?

Thank you for sharing space with me.

2025 is here, bringing with it some anticipated changes for our family. There will be much to celebrate with Ryan finishing his career as an Active Duty Marine, my book launch, and hopefully many other significant moments we cheer on as a family. Those sweeping changes also come with an opportunity to greet what didn’t work last year and lift it thoughtfully up to the light. I’m holding on to this quote as my motivation for what lies ahead:

“I was learning the secrets of life; that you could become the woman you dared to dream of being, but to do so you were going to have to fall in love with your own crazy, ruined self.”
Anne Lamott, Small Victories

What worked for you last year? What didn’t? I’d love to hear a few in the comments below.

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